Meltdown Mastery: The Listening and Skilled Toddler Mini Course

In this video you saw RP turns ABC! RP worked at first but when the boundary was tested again, ABC went into effect!

Throwing dry sand meant sand got into both boys eyes which is a safety concern. So consequences went into effect with ABC method. 

Sky was moved to an area with wet sand (where it was less likely to get thrown and get in his eyes). 

Sky did not throw sand for the rest of the beach trip :) 

 Avoid This X —> Do this instead=Get Your Child to Listen the 1st Time

Get your kid to listen the first time but also build your child’s confidence in your relationship and support their self-esteem. 

We want to have clear expectations and boundaries for our children so they listen the first time. This is one of the early stages of the relationship that you are forming with your child and this is why it matters so much. When we confuse our children then show disapproval we are sending them mixed messages, and it’s almost like they can’t do anything right.

Also we want to avoid using words like good and bad when describing your child, so if you must use a descriptive word “cool” or “not cool” would be an improvement. 

It's also very important to praise your child for "trying". Certain requests can be difficult for your toddler and make sure to catch those moments when your toddler is trying to listen and follow directions even if they are struggling with it by giving encouragement! 

1. Avoid giving a choice when you want them to listen the first time → instead RP

RP=

R= Request. ◦ say what you want the child to do

 ◦ use statements not questions

R= Praise

 ◦ reinforce appropriate behavior: say what you see

 ◦ You did it!, Great job, smiles and high-fives.

Don't Say:

X Would you want to put the toy down?”

X Can you put the toy down?”

Instead say:

“Put the toy down.” 

  2. Avoid saying no —> instead ABC

ABC=

A: State what the child should do Appropriately (e.g. We throw the balls in the hoop). If they do the appropriate behavior stop here and give praise! (RP) if they don't got to B.

B: The Behavior & Consequence: state the behavior that was not acceptable or "not cool" + the consequence (e.g. When we throw the ball at X the ball goes bye bye).

C: The Consequence in Action: this is where the adult follows through with the consequence (e.g. adult removes the ball from the environment so the child can't throw it).